An ok day is a good day.

Today was ok. Nice, even. Rob needed to go to the Apple Store in Liverpool so we made a trip of it. Had a burrito. Lost the parking ticket. Spent most of the time driving through insane city traffic but it was ok.

The kids are coming up on Friday for half term. I’m obviously worried about it. Not about them being here, but about the atmosphere whilst they are here. I miss them so much when they are apart from me but because I don’t go on about it or get overly emotional about it in front of Rob, I think he might underestimates how much I NEED to physically have them under my roof, in my field of vision, within touching distance once a month.

Let’s face it – one weekend a month is kind of pitiful. I know I’m ashamed to say that out loud to anyone who might enquire how often they visit.

Anyway, the day was mostly anxiety free. I got a bit stressed out thinking about my having no money while Sylvie and Sonny are here for bus and shopping trips. I have to ask Rob for cash which is typical but I don’t relish it, especially right now. Plus, he has to make a last payment to my solicitor that’s been owed for a few months. Relying on him SO much makes me feel powerless. He is not a jerk about it but it just doesn’t feel good. Things are tight too which is a whole other pocket of stress.

OK, I’m done for today. I ache, like I might be getting sick so I’m in bed already.

Nos da babans.


3 thoughts on “An ok day is a good day.

  1. They say money doesn’t make you happy but lack of it sure does! Maybe plan some low cost activities for while the kids are here. Write a list so that you are prepared. Sometimes just putting a movie on and making some popcorn is more than enough. I am glad that you had a nice day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One of the biggest challenges in my life in recovery is to want what I have. Another is to believe that you deserve what you’ve been given and you will have the opportunity to pay it forward. You are a gift to me. I am so grateful you are sharing what is happening with you. You see I have forgotten what it’s like to be high. It reminds me of what I was like and from where I’ve come.

    Liked by 1 person

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