Yesterday wasn’t a good day. R was having a bad day which meant I was having one too. I am an empath. I soak up other people’s energy and emotion, good or bad. When I was younger I believed that if everyone else was ok, I’d be ok too. I followed this philosophy much to my detriment. I came last. Always.
I simply can not deal with my own feelings when one of my loved ones is in a bad mood/upset/ill. I NEED them to be happy. This is unrealistic and unfair on them.
I cry a lot. At tv commercials. At music. At the news. This morning I cried watching Lady Gaga’s performance at the Super Bowl. (Yas kween!) Those kind of tears come easily. I don’t fear them. They feel cathartic. It’s tears for me that I’m scared of. I don’t know why I feel so deeply other people’s pain and build up walls around my own.
Something to bring up in therapy maybe?