Today will be my first session with my new therapist.
I have attended many different kinds of therapy over the years. Reluctantly as a teenager. Half-heartedly as a young adult. Desperately as a 30-something. My most recent stab at it was a 12 week block of session at a local drug and alcohol charity. I have done that twice in the last 14 months. 12 sessions is the maximum amount they offer without a 6 week hiatus when you can then re-refer yourself. Then it takes another 2 months to secure an appointment. It’s free and its helpful but it’s obviously not working for me. R has offered to pay for me to see the man I’m seeing today so fingers crossed I made a good connection with him.
Things at home feel a little less tense. I think R can see that I’m accepting (for the first time) that alcohol is not my friend. I have always put the onus on the pills and drugs. To me they have always been the things that pull the rug from under my feet. I have always tried to keep booze from that category. I conveniently forget that WINE LEADS TO PILLS. Maybe not straight away but me and you kid? Its inevitable…
Wish me luck.